Yes, 30 years! I rang in my 30th birthday in March of this year and it surely wasn’t how I had initially planned the year prior. However, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Initially, I was planning a 30th birthday bash. Provided that I just had our son a few weeks prior to my 30th birthday, that birthday bash ended up being a night of watching movies, eating Chipotle (not because I am a fan, but because it was open and close) and cuddling with my newborn son, fur babies and the babe; and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
With that shared, I’ll also share that I had done some soul searching within the months prior to giving birth and realized how grateful I am for certain experiences, lessons and blessings…..although some of them didn’t necessarily feel so positive in the moment.
So without further ado, here are 30 things I have learned in my first 30 years of life that I feel are worth mentioning and am thankful for;
When you do achieve successes, yes, some will congratulate you, be proud of you and genuinely have supported you from the beginning; while others will just hate even more, shut you out and try to break you down.
3. Everything is achievable as long as you believe in yourself and put yourself to work. Yes, some things may be more difficult than others, but the great things don’t come easy or else everyone would have done them.
4. Get “Can’t” out of your vocabulary. Seriously! The mere act of keeping the word “Can’t” active in your vocabulary is far more deadly than I believe most give credit. It subconsciously creates doubt, kills dreams and sets limitations.
5. You are far more powerful than you give yourself credit for. Yes, I have always believed in myself with the exception of self doubt here and there due to failures, challenges or the dream killers; but I truly surprised myself with the hidden strength I had hidden within me when I gave birth to my son. Not only physically, but for the most part, emotionally.
6. If you don’t believe in yourself, how can anyone else? Really, ask yourself this question. If you doubt your capabilities, self worth, value, etc; how can you expect someone else to take you seriously and place their faith in your actions?
7. You are strong! Although I never open up about the personal challenges that I have had and only a few of those closest to me are aware, I now look back and admire my strength to pull myself over those hurdles. Believe me, I know! It is easier said than done, but just keep believing and have faith in yourself.
8. Your perception of life will determine life’s attitude towards you. Okay, I am getting a little deep here, but I am a true believe that we receive back the energy that we put out. If one is always living in negativity, negative things will continue to happen. If we look on the bright side, truly believing positive thoughts, they will unfold into our lives. “The power of thought”.
9. Courage is not the absence of fear. To be courageous, make a risky move or decision, definitely does not mean you aren’t scared. I often hear, “You’re so adventurous, you must not be afraid of anything”; but really how silly is that thought? Of course I am fearful about certain things. When I first moved out to the east coast alone all those years ago, it was a life goal, but a quick decision made within a hour. After committing myself in the east coast, I was excited that my goal of living in NYC was that much closer, but I was nervous whether I made the correct decision. I would be picking up and leaving life as I knew it and would be doing it alone. None the less, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
10. Don’t regret. For as long as I can remember, I have lived by this. Yes, I have made many decisions, some of which I know some folks would give me their two cents or disapproval about, but I am not ashamed nor regret them. It is my life and I am at peace; Things happen for a reason. Live life and carry on.
11. Don’t live with “What If’s”. I have lived with this since I was a little girl. It was advice shared with me by my father and have for the most part lived an adventurous, life on the go because of it. However, lately have found myself needing to remember this advice. Since having my son and being a protective parent, I have found myself guilty a time or two of failing to live by my own advice.
12. Failure isn’t an UGLY word. So often, people attach a negative stigma to failure. You will not succeed on the first attempt at everything you do. Yes, you will fail sometimes. But if you really want something bad enough, those failures are blessings to teach you exactly how not to do something. Don’t give up, attempt it again and differently.
13. Its never too late. You’re still alive, aren’t you? So, what are you waiting for? It is never too late and you’re never too old to start something new. There are countless success stories of individuals who didn’t find success until later in life. Don’t let your age discourage yourself from attempting / setting forth on a new goal.
14. Stop making excuses!!! I don’t even know where to begin with how often I hear excuses about why something hasn’t or cant be done. Excuses are merely limitations that one sets upon themselves. I truly believe that everything our little hearts desire is achievable. It comes down to how will I find a way and how hard am I willing to work for it, etc. No, I am not saying that I am not guilty of blaming an excuse here and there, but when that occurs, I need to remind myself and ask; what is really holding me back? We all have the same 24 hours in a day and with the internet, there are endless resources out there. Yes, some circumstances may provide advantages while others can make things more challenging, but things are still achievable if we are willing to pull ourselves out and put in the work.
15. You’re never going to be 100% ready and it’s never going to be 100% “the right time”. This is a relatively newer lesson I have experienced. For as long as I can remember, I have always been planning. Planning how I want things to play out in life; what college I was going to attend, by what age I would achieve certain goals, when I would settle down, when I would begin a family and the list goes on. Last June when I found out I was pregnant, I initially was caught off guard and lived in this phase of shock for about two weeks. This is not the sequence I planned my life to pan out in. I wanted to be married before I had a child, but apparently wasn’t ready for marriage and then definitely did not want to then get married because I was pregnant. I as well wasn’t sure I was ready to be a parent. But the reality for myself was, would I ever be 100% ready to be a mom? I am not sure I would be. I never saw myself as the natural nuturing one, but we can surprise ourselves at times. Lesson for myself, things happen in their “right” timing.
16. Many of life’s greatest blessing come unexpected. There have been several times in which a blessing was entirely unexpected, however I will follow up on #15. Sure, I was nervous and stuck in a shock when I first saw the double pink lines on that pregnancy test, and the additional 7 following. Not because I felt insecure financially or didn’t feel I was mature enough, etc; but because the thought of having a child for me still felt so far in the future. I was never the natural nurturer nor would I say in any hurry to be a mother. (Of course the clock was ticking, but the rush wasn’t exactly present). I had always thought my sister or little cousin would have a child before I would.
Now reminiscing on the first time I glanced at my little baby boy and the first time I wrapped
arms around his little self, I cannot think of one thing that I have ever been more grateful for. The way this little one changed my life and all for the great, I cannot be any more blessed nor imagine life any other way.
17. Take time to travel! There are so many places to see and experience.
The way I see it, you cannot take the money with you so why not spend it enriching your life experiences. Travel makes you more interesting, insightful and experienced. It teaches you about the vast array of cultures, lifestyles and people. Definitely an expense worth spending on. It enriches you far more than money ever can.
18. Don’t be afraid to indulge. No, I am not talking about living out of your means or eating junk food 24/7, but enjoy life. Every now and then give in and buy yourself that pricey handbag you have been eyeing or have (a few) donuts.
19. Balance! No I am not referring to being able to ice skate or walk a tight line, although both sound fun as well, but balance your day to day in life. Yes, I have always been a goal getter and continuously work hard to provide the lifestyle I desire, but at the end of the day, I need to put the laptop/ phone aside and spend time with my little family. What is all the hard work for if you never take the time to enjoy it and make memories with your loved ones???Or….as I mentioned in #7, EAT THOSE DONUTS! I can’t begin to share now many folks I know who live on one end of the spectrum. Either eating junk,fast food and high red meat diets majority of the time to the other end and counting calories. By no means do I want to or trust that I can live a life counting calories with how much I love food, but it is important to live healthily. Yes, give into that plate of nachos and moist chocolate cake but on the other hand, be sure to get those veggies and greens in on a regular basis.
20. There is more than one way of doing something. Yes, although I don’t like to admit it, my way isn’t the only way of achieving something and Joseph is most likely smirking at this. Haha. Yes, the dishes will still dry whether they are loaded into the dishwasher my way or your way. Haha. Enough said.
21. You CANNOT make everyone happy! One of my recent favorites and more than ever, I am a work in process with this little tid bit. People are always going have an opinion and / or something to say, but as long as you aren’t hurting anyone, JUST DO YOU! If you constantly bend attempting to please or worrying about offending someone; you more often than not will find that yourself is the one upset, unhappy or miserable. Yes, when appropriate try to accommodate someones request but if it’s impacting the way you want to live life, let it go and move on. Do what you need and want to do for your little family and let all else go.
22. Life isn’t fair and people are going to be rude and mean. It is a harsh reality but none the less, a reality. All the great things in life aren’t going to be divided up and handed on a silver platter to everyone equally. No, everyone shouldn’t get a trophy for effort. Work hard and rise above. Sometimes you will be cheated and things don’t play out fairly, but overcome and move on.
People will be mean and rude (PERIOD). Silence is golden, but speak up and be heard when the circumstances call for it. I often let things go and Joseph does great at reminding me that sometimes you simply need to say, “What the F” and put people in place to avoid getting taken advantage of. ***Excuse my language****. 🙂 And move on.
23. Don’t be afraid to be single. If you hadn’t yet found your lobster as Phoebe would say, don’t be afraid to let go. With that, don’t let someone consume so much of who you are that you feel like you can’t be without them. Yes, you change a bit when you are in a relationship, but when its a positive change you as well won’t be losing yourself. I am a firm believer that when you’re in a positive solid relationship, you have “you”, “his own person” and “what you have become together”.
24. Not every relationship is going to last forever ….. and that is alright. This goes for all relationships; romantic friendships, and sometimes even family. Not every relationship is meant to last forever. Some relationships are toxic while in others, your interests change, you grow apart and so on. None the less, everyone you were in a relationship with was for a reason; whether you realize it then or perhaps later in life. They served a purpose. I have other thoughts on this, but perhaps will dive in on that on a later post.
25. Don’t take everyone’s input or advise to heart. It should be enough said that you would drive yourself crazy if you did.
26. You can learn / be anything but not everything. Yes, you can do a lot and learn plenty but you can’t (yes I said it, “can’t”) be a master at everything. Master some skills, be knowledgeable in others and build / network with other like minded individuals who are masters in other specialties. Together you are far more powerful and successful than you alone trying to be a master at everything.
On the same note, the learning never ends. Always keep reading, learning and broadening your knowledge.
27. Enlighten yourself before giving your opinion/ taking a stand on a matter. I know I’ll most likely catch some grief with this, but I find that this is becoming all too common, especially with social (media). A headline is thrown out, misconstrued my media, and people far too often are quick to, perhaps unintentional but still ignorantly, share the article without doing their due diligence of researching the facts. Regardless of what your personal opinion or stance is on a matter, I can care less if you simply ran blindly with the headline or what social media fed you. I can respect one’s opinion /stance even when different than my own when one has supporting facts rather than solely their opinion or lack of a credible source(s).
28. Sometimes, just keep quiet. Yes, we all love to share the new exciting news in our lives, however there are just somethings that aren’t necessary. Like your income, next move or religion and politics. Yes I make a nice living and I work hard to do so, but sharing a number will just attract negative comments from others, whether its too much or too little in their opinion and really, what does it matter to them? Most people know that I what I do for a living but are surprised when they learn about the real estate, the fashion, the blog etc. Again, my reasoning as mentioned many times above, I don’t want the opinions or doubts of others embarking on me. As for religion or politics, I don’t mind others sharing their faith or views, as I have my own, however it is always such a touchy topic. Best to avoid for the most part.
29. Don’t be afraid to love! Okay, just about everyone has been hurt or emotionally jilted in some aspect whether it be the loss of a loved one, a first love, betrayal and the list can go on. Don’t let those negative experiences keep you from finding new love or appreciating the love you still have surrounding you.
30. Age is merely a number. You may physically age but with that age comes life experiences, blessings and lessons that are all well deserved and forever treasured. Don’t let the number dictate or limit what goals, ambitions and possibilities that lie ahead.