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Tips to Filter Your “So Called” Friends

Today we are digging into a touchy topic, “So Called” friends. Whether you want to believe it or not, not everyone that claims to be your friend, is really your “ride or die” comrade.

Some of you, like myself, have known that this is true, however 1) don’t realize who some of these phony friends are or 2) we don’t want to be the mean one, purging them from our lives.

No, I am not claiming that all your “friends” that you either rarely speak to because you…..

  • Live across from each other….DISTANCE,
  • They are often busy due to balancing their goals, life and family
  • Or so on

Life happens and it isn’t realistic that you are you going to spend every weekend with all your friends and that doesn’t mean that those friendships aren’t genuine.

I am referring to, those who merely act like they support your life, goals, ambitions, “YOU”, but  in reality don’t.

Here is my criteria list for reviewing and clearing your inner circle from “So Called” friends;

{1} True friends say everything to your face; and this is pretty self-explanatory. A true friend isn’t going to talk badly behind your back. They as well won’t simply sugar coat everything to your face “just to be nice” knowing that the advice you asked them for , etc could potential be bad news.

{2} Pay close attention to the “friends” who don’t clap at your win’s.  No, I am not saying that you need appraisal for every single little thing that you do, but what I am saying, is to watch out for “so called” friends who are secretly hating on your win behind your back. Sadly, they are most likely either envious of your progress, whether they admit it or not. A true friend genuinely wants to see you progress, so why waste your energy of these people.

{3} Watch the reactions / responses your “friends” provide.

  • Whether you are working towards your business goal.
    • Are they supporting you by spreading your work/ the word, shopping your brand or simply encouraging you to hang in there, even on the challenging days?; or Are they constantly asking for handouts, giving out unsolicited stats of entrepreneurs that fail in the first year, or talking negatively about how you must think you’re above, because you’re striving for this ambitious goal?


  • When you ask for advise on how to deal with a difficult co-worker:
    • Are they seriously giving input or just trash talking?


  • When you’re on your latest fitness goal:
    • Are they cheering you on, or knocking the lifestyle adoption you now have?


  • Making plans.
    • Do they equally make an effort to get together or reach out regardless of busy schedules and are understanding if those occurrences are rare, due to hectic schedules; or do they constantly give you a guilt trip when you can’t drop obligations, etc?
  • And so on.

Not everyone you lose is a loss. You easily “unfollow” someone on social media who no longer fits your interest, etc; so why don’t you do this in real life? Don’t allow guilt or the fact that you have known someone forever discourage you from cutting ties. If they are always brining you down, not truly supporting your growth, or secretly hoping you fail; they aren’t your “real friends”.

I personally love to see my friends grow and excel in their goals, either big or small. I love trying to help a friend in need and I literally smile when I hear their news of achievements. There is enough room and opportunities for all of us to grow and succeed no matter the topic. We don’t need to secretly hate on each other.

What’s the point of claiming that person as a friend, if you cannot be “real” with each other? In my opinion, it would be too much time and energy wasted on something that wasn’t authentic from the beginning.

I know that this may sound too harsh, but if you want to continue growing and living in positivity, you need friends who are genuinely cheerleaders in your life, and visa versa.


Other articles you may enjoy Tips to a Productive Day and Ways Women Entrepreneurs can Support Each Other.

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