Marriage is a huge commitment in anyone’s lift and ultimately should not be taken lightly, nor rushed.
I do believe there is a significant difference between finding “the one” and knowing vs being ready.
Obviously, as most of you are aware, Joe and I have been together 10 years and are just making it official this summer, but it has been that we were unsure about one another; it was that we were happy, content, growing, living and there being personal goals we each wanted to accomplish prior to marriage and the fact that we understood and respected that about one another.
None the less, as the summer begins and the countdown is really beginning to hit before our August wedding, I have assembled a list of important things I believe every woman (or guy) should do before taking on the commitment of marriage.
{1} Live on your own (or with roommates) but the point being learning to live independently and freely without the presence of parents or a significant other. I have lived solo on different levels through my adult life.
I went off to college in northern California at 18 and to some degree was living solo (with roommates) in a dorm, but wasn’t entirely independently as my parents were supporting me financially. When I moved to the east coast from CA at 23 by myself, had my first solo apartment and financial dependence. Both situations taught me so much about standing up for myself, supporting myself, taking pride in financial independence, and more.
{2} Learn to do things solo. Whether it is going out to dinner at a restaurant, to the movies, traveling or simply running errands, learn to be comfortable and enjoy your solo time.
It may sound odd for some, but when I first left to college, this was a real struggle for me. Being forced to each lunch solo due to different schedules than my college friends, etc really began this personal journey with myself and enjoying time alone.
{3} Take a solo / girls trip. Personally I recommend both independently. It reached you so much about being in the moment, trusting yourself, watching your surroundings and more.
When I was in college I took my first trip abroad, to France, with a group of girlfriends and it was so enlightening. I have as well taken other trips where I have met up with friends abroad but added solo mini trips in before and after and that alone aided my personal comfort and confidence with being abroad and solo.
{4} Date. Pretty simple, while you are young , free and single don’t be afraid to date (responsibly and honestly).
{5} Know how to cook & use a tool kit. I am not talking about being a chief of fancy meals or build a new garage, but knowing the basics of how to feed yourself and hang a frame.
{6} Learn to be financial independent. Although it is great to be team supporting each other (you and significant other) financially, I can’t stress how vital I really believe this item on the list is. If anything, id probably rank it #1. Yes, support one another, but learn, have a savings, etc to know that you can support yourself with or without a partner.
{7} Live in a different city than where you are from. It is always easy to move back but learn to take the leap and live away for a little while (at least). I have so much strength in myself in moving and meeting new people, new areas, making new friends, a new surrounding, and so on.
{8} Face one or more fears. This can be applied in so many variations. It could be moving away, starting a new role, traveling solo, etc. But I highly encourage you to take a leap of faith in facing 1+ fears that are going to help you grow in the long run.
